This is a four-month worth of summer stories, a bowl of well-stirred mixture of sunshine, dust and a little rain. If things were congested, like they used to, they wouldn’t seem to be too boring. Boundless sleep and potato-couching in between made it seem uneventful, but nonetheless all the experience and feelings carry weight and left little scars to my being.
I am not an apt Biology student. I spent most of my two years in college in an unhealthy routine except for a few but really rad YOLO going-ons. Things bored and depressed me. I hated memorizing, and eventually hated the whole thing. I felt like I was not growing as a person, so contained in Biology and all its laid-out knowledge just waiting to be memorized. This is the second reason why I opted to shift to a different college more dear to me.
The first reason was that I failed most of my major subjects.
Thus, a very chaotic summer starter.
Aside from the regular road trip and camping I took with my family, I also went out with my friends, and tried to be normal despite unsolicited heart ache. I went to Guimaras with my sister and his boyfriend for a festival. I tried lots of new things. I went biking around the city, to places I have never imagined I can reach with this really cute and pink japanese bicycle. It was a make-believe motorcycle, to be honest. I also tried skateboarding, which is pretty rad, too. The thrill of it! I spent an all-nighter in Bacolod with my friends just to attend a music and art festival. I volunteered in a Waldorf-inspired school in the rural Zarraga. I got to hitch hike on passing tricycles just to reach the school - every day. I also got my hair short again, and I finally liked it. I have been a part of a collective art exhibit, and I am honestly a wee happy about it. I rediscovered my art once in a while. I got to read books that I wanted to read. I found out about many local and foreign bands that lifelines to what’s left of me, but only to be taken by a letter that had my heart broken more than it alrady was.
I wasn’t accepted in Fine Arts because my 2012 test results were no longer valid. I appealed many times because of the certain curcumstance I’m in. But I realized I didn’t try hard enough to convince them, or my parents, of how I honestly want this more than the sunshine or anything else. I felt I have failed too many people who believed in me, especially myself.
I am now here. I am still here.